I learned this exercise from one of my NLP (NeuroLinguistic Programming) teachers, and initially had a little hesitation in trying it.
The exercise is simply this:
Every day for the next week or so, simply go into a store or restaurant and seriously ask for an item they do not carry. Ask the grocery store cashier for a vacuum cleaner when she asks if you found everything that you were looking for. Or, ask for a pizza at Burger King.
The first time I did the exercise, I was pretty nervous. The “what if” machine in my head was working overtime. “What if they yell at me? What if I get embarrassed? What if people think I'm weird?...” And, then I asked for a gallon of olive oil at a Latin restaurant.
My server looked confused for a moment, and then smiled. She then politely informed me that they did not offer olive oil on the menu.
Most servers are pretty bored with their routine. They have been doing the same things over and over again all day. A break in the routine brightens their day. And, there's a good chance they'll think you are joking, and laugh. The world will be a slightly happier place for your odd request.
So, how does this exercise work to eliminate hesitation? The simplest explanation is that it causes us to break out of the normal ways of relating to a server or clerk. As we make a conscious effort to interrupt our own deeply ingrained social patterns in a safe and playful way, hesitation itself gets interrupted. What is left is a “go for it” attitude.
Why not try this NLP exercise? All you have to lose is your hesitation.
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2 comments:
I'm guessing you mean Jamie Smart. Here's a video of that: http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=0hMM0_0dXq4
Since the video is about nested loops, one might surmise that the content itself is less important than the multiple embedded metaphors.
This particular exercise could be a useful way of ending certain relevantly similar kinds of hesitation, like sales call reluctance which also involves interrupting people to ask them something a bit strange, or speaking to an attractive member of the opposite sex that you'd like to meet.
If the hesitation is for some other reason, like perhaps lack of adequate clarity or safety, then it's unlikely to generalize to the problem context.
Hi Duff,
I actually ran across the exercise several years ago, before I became aware of Jamie Smart. I did see his video clip recently, and that is what actually inspired my post.
I agree that the exercise will not end useful hesitations that might be based on real issues of safety or clarity. Those kinds of issues would need be addressed differently.
I really appreciate your comment.
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