In my previous post Hypnosis For Those Who are Afraid to Stop Smoking, Part One – Taking Breaks I explained how I use humor to help my clients get rid of the notion that if they stopped smoking they would no longer be able to take breaks. And, after reading that post, readers may have wondered where is the hypnosis in all that?
The answer is that there is a lot more going on under the hood in a hypnotherapy session than meets the eye.
Experienced hypnotherapists know that the most effective sessions begin before the official hypnosis starts. We start by getting in rapport with the client, particularly at the unconscious level, because the client must trust us enough to follow and act on suggestions. With that rapport, useful suggestions can be seeded inside of a normal conversation.
Also, as the hypnotherapist is interacting with the client, he or she will notice and respond to any slight indicators of trance or unconscious cues of openness. When those indicators are present, the client will be receptive to the kind of humor and suggestions that can create some serious rethinking of obstructing beliefs, such as, “The only time I take breaks is when I smoke”.
The hypnotherapist will also go into a light trance state, in which he or she is paying attention to the client's conscious and unconscious responses to the conversation. And, the client tends to follow along into that state of light trance because of the rapport that has been established. That littlest bit of hypnosis makes it easier for them to adopt the new belief. The new belief in our example being, “As an adult, I can just take a break whenever I need or want one”.
Clients are usually just aware of having an interesting and engaging conversation. They rarely notice that they have gone into a very light state of hypnosis. But, an awareness of hypnosis is unnecessary as they are moving a few steps closer to becoming a nonsmoker by replacing a long held obstructing belief.
Sunday, January 31, 2010
Wednesday, January 20, 2010
Hypnosis For Those Who are Afraid to Stop Smoking, Part One – Taking Breaks
One of the more common fears or concerns of my stop smoking clients is that they will not be able to take a break, because the only time that they do is when they smoke. I consider this to be a bit of bad self hypnosis. By bad self hypnosis I mean that they came to a false conclusion and then began acting as if it were true.
In practice, I have found that the bad hypnosis can be eliminated in a few moments of conversation.
In a respectful and caring way, I point out to my clients that their pay will not be docked if they take a smoke free break. I remind my clients that their smoking buddies do not care whether my client smokes or not when they are socializing during work breaks.
And, I also remind my clients that, as adults, they can make a decision to take a break, just because they need or want one.
This all sounds like common sense. But, when someone has hypnotized themselves into thinking that they have to smoke to get a break common sense has, at lease temporarily, stopped applying. Most of the time, the metaphors and reframing statements above are enough to eliminate the bad hypnosis, and restore common sense to the client's thinking.
Later, during the formal hypnosis session, it is easy to have the client establish the habit of taking smoke free breaks using what is called end point imagery. In end point imagery the hypnotherapist simply has the client in hypnosis imagine him or herself in the future taking breaks at will, without any need for an excuse. Mentally practicing taking smoke free breaks in hypnosis for several imagined weeks ingrains the new habit easily and immediately.
In practice, I have found that the bad hypnosis can be eliminated in a few moments of conversation.
In a respectful and caring way, I point out to my clients that their pay will not be docked if they take a smoke free break. I remind my clients that their smoking buddies do not care whether my client smokes or not when they are socializing during work breaks.
And, I also remind my clients that, as adults, they can make a decision to take a break, just because they need or want one.
This all sounds like common sense. But, when someone has hypnotized themselves into thinking that they have to smoke to get a break common sense has, at lease temporarily, stopped applying. Most of the time, the metaphors and reframing statements above are enough to eliminate the bad hypnosis, and restore common sense to the client's thinking.
Later, during the formal hypnosis session, it is easy to have the client establish the habit of taking smoke free breaks using what is called end point imagery. In end point imagery the hypnotherapist simply has the client in hypnosis imagine him or herself in the future taking breaks at will, without any need for an excuse. Mentally practicing taking smoke free breaks in hypnosis for several imagined weeks ingrains the new habit easily and immediately.
Thursday, January 14, 2010
The Importance of Word Sequence in Communications
After practicing hypnosis for so long, I have come to appreciate how even small shifts in the way something is said can make a big difference in its impact and meaning.
While reading an NLP (NeuroLinguistic Programming) newsletter recently, I came to appreciate just how much of a difference the sequence of the words in a sentence can make in its meaning and impact.
In an earlier post to this blog I told the story of a client who replied “Yes...but” to everything that I said. If I said, for example, “You know that smoking is bad for you, which is why you have decided to stop.” He might reply with something like, “Yes, I am aware of just how bad it is for me, but I am so addicted that I just can not stop”.
I was terribly frustrated, because nothing I said was getting through to him.
My solution was to simply use his sentence structure while reversing the sequence of the “yes” and the “but”. It was enough to eliminate his unconscious resistance, and open the door for him to make the changes he wanted.
So my reply to his “yes... but” was something like, “But, I think you must just know deep inside that somehow you want to stop bad enough to really make it happen now, yes?” He had no way of arguing with “But...yes?”, so by presenting positive ideas to him in that form I was able to help him stop.
For a wonderful example of how much difference word sequence can make, take a look at this video on YouTube. It is only 1 minute 44 seconds. Be sure you read as well as listen, both forward and backward. It is absolutely brilliant!
While reading an NLP (NeuroLinguistic Programming) newsletter recently, I came to appreciate just how much of a difference the sequence of the words in a sentence can make in its meaning and impact.
In an earlier post to this blog I told the story of a client who replied “Yes...but” to everything that I said. If I said, for example, “You know that smoking is bad for you, which is why you have decided to stop.” He might reply with something like, “Yes, I am aware of just how bad it is for me, but I am so addicted that I just can not stop”.
I was terribly frustrated, because nothing I said was getting through to him.
My solution was to simply use his sentence structure while reversing the sequence of the “yes” and the “but”. It was enough to eliminate his unconscious resistance, and open the door for him to make the changes he wanted.
So my reply to his “yes... but” was something like, “But, I think you must just know deep inside that somehow you want to stop bad enough to really make it happen now, yes?” He had no way of arguing with “But...yes?”, so by presenting positive ideas to him in that form I was able to help him stop.
For a wonderful example of how much difference word sequence can make, take a look at this video on YouTube. It is only 1 minute 44 seconds. Be sure you read as well as listen, both forward and backward. It is absolutely brilliant!
Wednesday, January 13, 2010
Well Formed New Year's Resolutions Part 1
Following a simple series of steps in constructing goals can make all the difference between failure and success. This series of blog posts based on a technique from NLP (NeuroLinguistic Programming) will offer you a powerful set of questions and steps to make sure that you can and will accomplish your important goals and new year's resolutions.
This first post in the series outlines the steps in defining your goal in a way that is specific enough to be attainable.
So what are the qualities of an achievable goal?
It is stated in the positive.
If you tell your server at a restaurant that you do not want pizza, cob salad, or pork chow mien, will you get what you actually want?
Our unconscious minds tend move us towards what we focus on. Focusing on the negative will only cause you to get more of what you don't want. If you focus on “not failing”, for example, you may well find yourself failing more, because you are focusing your energies on failing. Or even worse, you may give up before even starting. After all, how can you fail if you never even try?
For example, the following goal, “I want to stop procrastinating at work” is stated in the negative. Stated in the positive it might be, “I want to make all my sales calls in the morning.”
Is your goal something that is under your control?
If your goal depends on someone else doing something, they control the outcome, not you. Of course, you can acquire the exquisite communication skills to influence others to do things that you want. However, having flexibility in your thinking and behaviors allows you to pursue your goals independently of other's actions.
For example, “I want my boss to remind me to make my sales calls” depends on the boss. A better goal would be “I want to making my sales calls a daily habit.”
Is the goal based on specific, sensory based description?
How will you look when you have reached your goal? What will you see, feel, hear, smell and taste that will let you know you have reached your goal? How will you be different in your behavior?
You would know, again using our example, that making your sales calls has become a habit when you pick up your phone and begin making calls within ten minutes of arriving at work for three weeks running. You will see the records of the calls, and sales in your log. You will see your sales numbers increasing compared to last year. You will hear the voices of your customers and yourself as you speak on the phone.
Is the chunk size appropriate?
How do you eat an elephant? One bite at time.
How does this apply to our example, “I want to stop procrastinating at work”? Will you be ending all the procrastination, all at once? Or, will you start by making the sales calls to potential new customers first thing? Then begin getting the paperwork for new sales done by Friday noon? And, after that will you regularly begin making follow up calls to potential customers every three months?
It is particularly essential that large goals be thought of in steps small enough to be easily achieved to avoid overwhelm.
Just taking a goal through all the steps in the well formed goal procedure can help clarify the goal tremendously. And, that can increase the likelihood of making the goal a reality tremendously. The rest of the questions in a Well Formed Outcome are listed in parts two and three of this series of posts.
This first post in the series outlines the steps in defining your goal in a way that is specific enough to be attainable.
So what are the qualities of an achievable goal?
It is stated in the positive.
If you tell your server at a restaurant that you do not want pizza, cob salad, or pork chow mien, will you get what you actually want?
Our unconscious minds tend move us towards what we focus on. Focusing on the negative will only cause you to get more of what you don't want. If you focus on “not failing”, for example, you may well find yourself failing more, because you are focusing your energies on failing. Or even worse, you may give up before even starting. After all, how can you fail if you never even try?
For example, the following goal, “I want to stop procrastinating at work” is stated in the negative. Stated in the positive it might be, “I want to make all my sales calls in the morning.”
Is your goal something that is under your control?
If your goal depends on someone else doing something, they control the outcome, not you. Of course, you can acquire the exquisite communication skills to influence others to do things that you want. However, having flexibility in your thinking and behaviors allows you to pursue your goals independently of other's actions.
For example, “I want my boss to remind me to make my sales calls” depends on the boss. A better goal would be “I want to making my sales calls a daily habit.”
Is the goal based on specific, sensory based description?
How will you look when you have reached your goal? What will you see, feel, hear, smell and taste that will let you know you have reached your goal? How will you be different in your behavior?
You would know, again using our example, that making your sales calls has become a habit when you pick up your phone and begin making calls within ten minutes of arriving at work for three weeks running. You will see the records of the calls, and sales in your log. You will see your sales numbers increasing compared to last year. You will hear the voices of your customers and yourself as you speak on the phone.
Is the chunk size appropriate?
How do you eat an elephant? One bite at time.
How does this apply to our example, “I want to stop procrastinating at work”? Will you be ending all the procrastination, all at once? Or, will you start by making the sales calls to potential new customers first thing? Then begin getting the paperwork for new sales done by Friday noon? And, after that will you regularly begin making follow up calls to potential customers every three months?
It is particularly essential that large goals be thought of in steps small enough to be easily achieved to avoid overwhelm.
Just taking a goal through all the steps in the well formed goal procedure can help clarify the goal tremendously. And, that can increase the likelihood of making the goal a reality tremendously. The rest of the questions in a Well Formed Outcome are listed in parts two and three of this series of posts.
Well Formed New Year's Resolutions Part 2
Using the 'Well Formed Outcome” from NLP (NeuroLinguistic Programming) to make goals and new years resolutions can be a useful way to make sure that they are constructed in a way that maximizes the chance of success.
In Well Formed New Year's Resolutions Part 1 we discovered a series of questions that help us form resolutions and goals that are stated in the positive, in terms of what can be seen, felt, heard, tasted or touched and in a way that presupposes that we ourselves can accomplish them, without depending on anyone else changing to accommodate us.
The next questions are:
How will you know when you have it? (Evidence procedure)
It is important to make sure that your evidence procedure gives meaningful feedback. For Example if your goal is to “to stop procrastinating at work “ and your evidence is that you are feeling good at the end of the day, you need a different kind of evidence. Feeling good at the end of the day is great, but seeing a 50% increase in the number of calls on your call log over the previous year's average would be a much more useful measure of your having accomplished your goal.
Where, when and with whom do you want it? (context)
One of my partners in an NLP training exercise said that he wanted to be “calm, and focused.” I asked him, “Where, when and with whom do you want it?” He replied, “Always, everywhere, and with everyone.”
He was a high school principal, so I asked, “So if your football team wins the state championship, you want to be calm and focused? How about when making love to your wife? Or, when you walk down the isle to give your daughter's hand in marriage, or the first time you hold your grandchild?”
Of course, he said “no” to all of those questions.
After a little more digging, it turns out that the specific time, place and context that he wanted to be calm and focused was in a parent conference dealing with disciplinary issues with a student. Apparently, he had been getting a little flustered in those kinds of conferences.
Is it sensory-based?
What will you see, feel, hear, and taste in the appropriate context that will automatically trigger the new choices?
Just answering these questions will help you form new years resolutions that are achievable, and the process of answering the questions is a great first step in making them happen.
In Well Formed New Year's Resolutions Part 1 we discovered a series of questions that help us form resolutions and goals that are stated in the positive, in terms of what can be seen, felt, heard, tasted or touched and in a way that presupposes that we ourselves can accomplish them, without depending on anyone else changing to accommodate us.
The next questions are:
How will you know when you have it? (Evidence procedure)
It is important to make sure that your evidence procedure gives meaningful feedback. For Example if your goal is to “to stop procrastinating at work “ and your evidence is that you are feeling good at the end of the day, you need a different kind of evidence. Feeling good at the end of the day is great, but seeing a 50% increase in the number of calls on your call log over the previous year's average would be a much more useful measure of your having accomplished your goal.
Where, when and with whom do you want it? (context)
One of my partners in an NLP training exercise said that he wanted to be “calm, and focused.” I asked him, “Where, when and with whom do you want it?” He replied, “Always, everywhere, and with everyone.”
He was a high school principal, so I asked, “So if your football team wins the state championship, you want to be calm and focused? How about when making love to your wife? Or, when you walk down the isle to give your daughter's hand in marriage, or the first time you hold your grandchild?”
Of course, he said “no” to all of those questions.
After a little more digging, it turns out that the specific time, place and context that he wanted to be calm and focused was in a parent conference dealing with disciplinary issues with a student. Apparently, he had been getting a little flustered in those kinds of conferences.
Is it sensory-based?
What will you see, feel, hear, and taste in the appropriate context that will automatically trigger the new choices?
Just answering these questions will help you form new years resolutions that are achievable, and the process of answering the questions is a great first step in making them happen.
Well Formed New Year's Resolutions Part 3
In Well Formed New Year's Resolutions Part 1 we discovered that resolutions and goals that are stated in the positive, in terms of what can be seen, felt, heard, tasted or touched and in a way that presupposes that we ourselves can accomplish them, is a powerful way to achieve them. In part 2, we answered questions that will make certain that the goals and resolutions are specific enough to let us begin creating workable action steps, and an evidence procedure that will allow us to know if and when we have succeeded.
This last set of questions is designed to help us detect any internal conflicts, to make sure that there are no likely negative consequences of reaching our goals, and to choose our first action step .
"How will your desired outcome affect your life?"
Make sure you have considered all of the possible consequences of getting your goals, and how your life may be impacted. For example: One hypnotherapist had a client who insisted that he be hypnotized to always be in the now. When that was done he realized that he had amnesia for all of his past experience. At that point he realized the need to consider all the consequences of getting his wish.
"What stops you from already having your desired outcome?"
Is it some limiting belief or learning? That belief may just need to be updated first. For example, I have had a few of my female hypnosis clients tell me that they wanted to get thinner. However, they did not want to have to deal with the increased attention from men that would come along with a more slender figure. The limiting belief that I addressed was that the only way to deter unwanted male attention was to be fat. There is a simple solution for that problem. But, that is a story that is best saved for later.
"What resources do you already have that can be utilized to get your outcome?"
Internal resources include all of the things that you have already learned to do, all of the things you have seen, felt and heard. All of the places you have been, the people you have watched do so many different things. The question is, how can you put this information together into new configurations and use it in a new way?
External resources include the people you know who have already achieved a similar type of outcome. They can teach or inspire you to find new choices for yourself. Have you thought of asking that person how they do it?
External physical resources including money, an office, land, tools, etc. This is a good time to consider what has to happen first, remember the elephant? Small bites!
"What additional resources do you need to in order to get your goal?"
"How are you going to get there?"
How many ways do you have of getting there? Flexibility is the key. The more ways you have of getting to a particular goal the more likely you will achieve it. How many ways can you get from Georgia to San Francisco? Have you considered taking a boat around the world and coming in the back way? Driving a tractor? Taking a train? Asking Daisy to ride with you on a bicycle built for two? The more choices you create, and options that you consider the greater your chances of success.
What is the first step?
You want to earn more money? What would be a reasonable first step, something you could do that would move you even a little bit closer to your goal? Remember, bite sized pieces. That elephant will be gone before you know it, and you will need to go grocery shopping again.
Taking the time to create your goals and new years resolutions by answering the questions of the well formed goals technique from NLP (NeuroLinguistic Programming) is a great way to make sure that they are achievable and motivating.
This last set of questions is designed to help us detect any internal conflicts, to make sure that there are no likely negative consequences of reaching our goals, and to choose our first action step .
"How will your desired outcome affect your life?"
Make sure you have considered all of the possible consequences of getting your goals, and how your life may be impacted. For example: One hypnotherapist had a client who insisted that he be hypnotized to always be in the now. When that was done he realized that he had amnesia for all of his past experience. At that point he realized the need to consider all the consequences of getting his wish.
"What stops you from already having your desired outcome?"
Is it some limiting belief or learning? That belief may just need to be updated first. For example, I have had a few of my female hypnosis clients tell me that they wanted to get thinner. However, they did not want to have to deal with the increased attention from men that would come along with a more slender figure. The limiting belief that I addressed was that the only way to deter unwanted male attention was to be fat. There is a simple solution for that problem. But, that is a story that is best saved for later.
"What resources do you already have that can be utilized to get your outcome?"
Internal resources include all of the things that you have already learned to do, all of the things you have seen, felt and heard. All of the places you have been, the people you have watched do so many different things. The question is, how can you put this information together into new configurations and use it in a new way?
External resources include the people you know who have already achieved a similar type of outcome. They can teach or inspire you to find new choices for yourself. Have you thought of asking that person how they do it?
External physical resources including money, an office, land, tools, etc. This is a good time to consider what has to happen first, remember the elephant? Small bites!
"What additional resources do you need to in order to get your goal?"
"How are you going to get there?"
How many ways do you have of getting there? Flexibility is the key. The more ways you have of getting to a particular goal the more likely you will achieve it. How many ways can you get from Georgia to San Francisco? Have you considered taking a boat around the world and coming in the back way? Driving a tractor? Taking a train? Asking Daisy to ride with you on a bicycle built for two? The more choices you create, and options that you consider the greater your chances of success.
What is the first step?
You want to earn more money? What would be a reasonable first step, something you could do that would move you even a little bit closer to your goal? Remember, bite sized pieces. That elephant will be gone before you know it, and you will need to go grocery shopping again.
Taking the time to create your goals and new years resolutions by answering the questions of the well formed goals technique from NLP (NeuroLinguistic Programming) is a great way to make sure that they are achievable and motivating.
Monday, January 4, 2010
Hypnotize All Airline Passengers to Increase In Flight Security?
Weekly World News reports that passenger hypnotherapy, hypnosis and underwear removal will become a crucial part of airline security in 2010.
Some genius came up with the notion of having airlines to require all passengers and crew, except the pilot, of course, to be hypnotized throughout every flight. This is intended as a security measure, because “Being under a hypnotic trance makes it nearly impossible to stage any kind of attack, and all hypnotic messaging will be designed to minimize aggressive attitudes.”
File this one under “it seemed like a great idea, but...”
1. No one can be hypnotized against their will. Terrorists are not likely to cooperate.
2. Terrorists could be hypnotically conditioned to only allow one person to hypnotize them. Presumably, that one person would be a member of their own terrorist group.
3. No one will accept suggestions that conflict with their morals or values. Terrorists believe in their cause, and in violence as a method of political action. Suggestions to “minimize aggressive attitudes” would be useless.
4. A hypnotized person can come out of trance at will, at any time.
5. In the early 20th century, an experimenter had hypnotized people riding exercise bikes. Hypnotized people are able to do anything that they can in their normal states of consciousness.
6. Officials in the Homeland Security Department and FAA are not going to risk a political uproar over hypnosis from Congress, airline executives and the the general public who share many misconceptions and unfounded fears of hypnosis.
And the underpants? “All passengers will be expected to prove they are not wearing underpants as the garment is too easy to hide explosives or drugs in.”
Yep, there are legitimate security concerns, but are we really afraid that runway model's thong might just be made from 3 pounds of exploding cocaine?
Weekly World News has apparently been a little hypnotized themselves by misconceptions about hypnosis. In flight hypnosis could certainly make passengers more relaxed and the flight more pleasant for them, but it would not prevent terrorist attacks or improve security.
Some genius came up with the notion of having airlines to require all passengers and crew, except the pilot, of course, to be hypnotized throughout every flight. This is intended as a security measure, because “Being under a hypnotic trance makes it nearly impossible to stage any kind of attack, and all hypnotic messaging will be designed to minimize aggressive attitudes.”
File this one under “it seemed like a great idea, but...”
1. No one can be hypnotized against their will. Terrorists are not likely to cooperate.
2. Terrorists could be hypnotically conditioned to only allow one person to hypnotize them. Presumably, that one person would be a member of their own terrorist group.
3. No one will accept suggestions that conflict with their morals or values. Terrorists believe in their cause, and in violence as a method of political action. Suggestions to “minimize aggressive attitudes” would be useless.
4. A hypnotized person can come out of trance at will, at any time.
5. In the early 20th century, an experimenter had hypnotized people riding exercise bikes. Hypnotized people are able to do anything that they can in their normal states of consciousness.
6. Officials in the Homeland Security Department and FAA are not going to risk a political uproar over hypnosis from Congress, airline executives and the the general public who share many misconceptions and unfounded fears of hypnosis.
And the underpants? “All passengers will be expected to prove they are not wearing underpants as the garment is too easy to hide explosives or drugs in.”
Yep, there are legitimate security concerns, but are we really afraid that runway model's thong might just be made from 3 pounds of exploding cocaine?
Weekly World News has apparently been a little hypnotized themselves by misconceptions about hypnosis. In flight hypnosis could certainly make passengers more relaxed and the flight more pleasant for them, but it would not prevent terrorist attacks or improve security.
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